frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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