This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize