Buhtt sex?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
There's even glitter on my cock...
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