Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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