D3 body, D1 cock
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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