Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
