Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
