I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
