she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
