You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
