Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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