Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
