remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
