Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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