You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
