I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
