I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
