Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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