They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
