Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize