I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
