oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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