I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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