need another drink. this is the easiest way
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
