I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
