you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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