I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
