I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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