these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
