I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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