After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
