4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
