She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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