He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
