How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
