butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
