Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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