just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
