I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
