You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize