'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
