I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize