Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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