We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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