oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
