That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
