Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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