just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
