Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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