Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
P.S. I can't hear my feet
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
