told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
