I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
