Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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