Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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