hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
