dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
