My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
