Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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