Three words: puerto rican gang bang
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
