We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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