operation harelip BJ is a go
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
