Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
