Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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