i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
